What are you searching for?

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One of the obsessions joys of blogging is checking your blog stats. Knowing that people are actually here, reading your posts, makes you feel a little bit less like you’re talking into a soup can attached to a string and a little more like someone actually cares. Even if it is your own mom.

It’s also possible to find out all sorts of things about the people that visit your site–what geographical location they hail from, what they clicked on while visiting, and even what words they typed into Google to find you.

And that’s where it gets a little weird.

I’ll admit it. I don’t understand how Google works. I’m not even sure if the people at Google really know how they work. Maybe it’s magic. But I’m always amazed at the search words used to find this site.

Her Porn Star name is Fluffy Love

“Kim Kircher porn,” for example. Believe it or not, search engines are out there, perhaps right this instant, scanning the internet for pornography associated with my name. Two of the most surprising search engine terms that have brought visitors to this site are:

1) Die doing what you love

2) Kim Kircher porn

I mean really people. What is wrong with you? This is a family show. My mom reads my blog. She regularly comments. You are not going to see naked pictures of me here.

And for this you should be very thankful.

Perhaps you site visitors are disappointed. Maybe you bounce off the site just as soon as you realize this is just a blog about skiing and finding inspiration and thinking about skiing and inspiration. But I have to admit that it kind of creeps me out. I’m talking to you here, Porn-Googler.

Who sits at home googling up porn and a certain person’s name? Do you really think you’re going to find something?

Might I remind you that we all have our own “porn star name?” Remember how that goes? Take the name of your first pet and your mother’s middle name and voila! instant porn star. This was a fun parlor trick from my early ski bum college days, and it always brings a few raised eyebrows and smirks.

So, if anyone really wanted to find naked pictures of me, you should be googling my porn star name: Fluffy Love.

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28 responses »

  1. So far, most people find my site by searching for “elephants sh*tting.” (See what I did there with that asterisk? That’s because you’re a family site). Although still high on my search list is “Mutant Genitals.”

    • True Liz, but it doesn’t say Kim Kircher porn teasers. It’s the connection with my name that is a little unsettling. Today, 10 searches for said phrase so far, but that be people screwing with my head. In fact, I’m sure it is!

  2. Funny stuff. If you’ve made headway into the book and come across Dee and her dog, that bit was originally a blog post and thereafter some people found my site by searching for “s**t woman” … and believe me, you don’t want to click on any of the sites (other than mine of course) that would come up in that search … Yeah, there really are some deviant individuals out there.

  3. Thanks for the hilarious post, Fluffy Love. I’ve lately been amused by a few off-the-wall topics about which Klout has decided I’m influential. Apparently, if you want to know about cheesecake, cars, and zucchini, I’m you’re go-to girl. This is particularly funny because 1) I don’t care for cheesecake, 2) I rarely drive and when I do it’s a beat-up ’95 Honda Civic Hatchback, and 3) the only reason I know anything about zucchini is because it’s the only food item in my beginner veggie garden that dared show its face this summer. I get a kick out of increasing my influence on these ridiculous topics by repeating the keywords in posts like this one.

    • Cara, what a fabulous idea. I’m an amateur when it comes to SEO and using keywords. It seems a bit daunting. Never knew you could have fun with it. Changes my attitude a bit, indeed.

  4. This is hilarious and creepy all at the same time and very specific. I think it’s using your name that makes it so twisted. One of mine is Tina Fey’s feet. Weird, right? I wrote a post ages ago where I mentioned how much of a crush I have on Tina Fey and somehow people who are obsessed with her feet end up there. Bizarre.
    Hope you have a great day, Fluffy Love!

  5. There are allot of crazy people out there…. that’s why we live here in the mountains!!! But are we really safe? The internet sure made the world a much smaller place:)

  6. Interesting! Well, people find their way to my site by much more mundane searches like “deception pass kayak” and “seattle swimming pools.” Exciting, huh? Hey I wouldn’t mind a few more hits even if it was a misguided search…And when I get tons of hits on an obscure post about the Greenlake Pathway of Lights from December 2009, I know it’s the spammers.

  7. I love this post, Ms. Fluffy Love. Could you have a better porn name? BTW, mine is Kobuk Jean. Yes, I was raised with a pack of sled pulling Samoyeds, all sporting Russian names.

    The other comment I have however regards checking stats. Joy or obsession? I’m not sure which. All I know is that if I’m not careful, my mood can fluctuate with the WordPress bar graph.

    Thanks for a fun read!

  8. Women are probably more prone to getting the specific name search, and I imagine it must be a little unsettling to see your name searched for in such ways. I’ve had some strange searches reach my blog, but thankfully, I don’t think anyone ever has or ever will search for “Dave O’Leary porn” …

  9. Fluffy, I think I may call you that from now on. Is that acceptable?? My hooker name wouldn’t be that fun. Maile Lynn. Almost sounds normal. I once wrote a humorous post about the cost of black market babies, and now a ton of the google searches for my site are people looking to see how much a black market baby costs. Or how much a WHITE baby costs on the black market. I’m hoping that it just people who are curious like I was.

    • Fluffy it is. She was such a cuddly, cat. I’m glad my parents got Fluffy before Deek or Nugget, because Nugget Love is a little perverse and Deek Love is a little too close to Geek Love.

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